Title: Something Like It

Author: MichelleK

Rating: NC-17

Spoilers: Through "All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues"





He was lying when he said he didn't want to know what she did.



He probably didn't know he was being untruthful at the time; thought he was reasonable enough to acknowledge that it didn't matter in the long run. But it mattered.



People like to know whom they've fallen in love with.



So she wasn't surprised when the question came up again or that it hung over them. Continuing to keep him in the dark was a punishment for pretending to be more moral and less curious than everyone else. It also could've doubled as a means to push him away, if either of them really wanted to have a reason to leave each other alone. But it wasn't that simple -- and maybe it wasn't love. Maybe it wasn't real. But it felt like both, and Kate hadn't felt it in a while.



She had missed feeling something other than the dull fear that came with years of running; the sharp fear that came with almost dying.



Something else. Love. Maybe.



So she wanted to tell him, 'This is real,' as his hands slid over her bare thighs. 'I love you' as his lips closed over her nipple. They might end up being lies later, though, and that kept her from saying it aloud. But she felt it.



Feeling anything that didn't wear her down seemed like a revelation in and of itself.



"I don't care," he said. "I don't care."



It didn't sound like so much of a lie this time. Maybe this was love; which one of them was blinded by it, she didn't know.



She pulled him into a kiss. His palms pressed into the ground as he leaned against her. She pulled him closer, damp fabric of his shirt pressing harder against her bare skin. Soon, the shirt was chucked to the side. His body pressed against hers as he moved one of his hands between their bodies. The zipper on her shorts was half-open, allowing him to slide his hand inside. Her hips arched against his fingers as they slid over the lips of her sex. He kissed her in a way that was more desperate, more satisfying than the one Sawyer had coerced her into. His teeth scraped against her bottom lip as one of his fingers brushed against her clit. He kissed her chin as he awkwardly moved his hand against the confine of her garments, the tip of his finger continually rubbing against the tiny nub.



She said his name when she came, said it again as she shimmied out of her remaining cloths and spread her legs. It wasn't slow and romantic like loving sex should be, but she hadn't expected it to be. Love didn't delude her entirely.



She arched at each thrust as she held onto her ankles. Her second orgasm wasn't as powerful, but it still tensed her enough to make him come. He kissed her afterwards, his mouth still satisfying and desperate against hers.



She held him close because all the words seemed too silly to say.



END